Coward to face the Ugliness..

here is such like a place..
i release all my words..
all my feelings towards here..
and all my explanation..what i did..why i did..what i didn't and why i didn't..
consider a kind of way to escape problem?

well..
i found its all my problems..
cause i don't know to think maturely before doing somethg or talkig somethg..?
i really don't know how to overcome..
i try to be closer to him..but....
i know i did wrong and he can't forgive me on the spot..
i just scare..
you will just leave me..

but the biggest problem is..
i had oredi face this kind of situation not only once..
these feeling comes over against me..
but im still cant handle and dont know how to solve..
other than keep apologise i found i got nothing to do..
irony right..haha
or else i should be confidence to our love ba..
hmm yea...

i know i not really understand myself..
and i really try my hard to understand you more faster..
i did..
perhaps there some misunderstanding..
time will reveal ba..
or maybe ur right..
im not good enough..
and i tot im good.. in fact there are not..
or ..i am just cowardly to face the ugliness of real me....
such as..selfishness..??